I feel as if can't accept a smile because I feel like it doesn't know this reality. It's lost! There's no way you can be smiling right now. I used to value the innocence of that... and now that it's taken away, I feel like it's a lie.
I've pigeon holed myself into unhappiness.
Sad, really.
I feel like maybe I've been down this road before.
But It's actually completely new territory for me. I've never been so shocked or pushed to such a level. You can have your buttons pushed in places you've only dreamed of. Doesn't everyone like a challenge?
Things have turned, let's say, "weird". It's a chance to prove who I am, and I know what I should do. But I'm having trouble forming the simplest of words. I sort of feel like they're silly. Like maybe they won't be understood, or it would fall on deaf ears.
A confidant here, a confidant there.
I've taken a broken puzzle and tossed it's pieces into the wind.
I've now been thinking no one has understood the complete picture. And I don't know whether I want to be right or wrong about that. I think I'm wrong. And there's the optimism. So smile and be happy.
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