ever felt like maybe the world is revolving in the wrong direction?

i think maybe im coming to realize why im unhappy
in my pursuit
i destroyed everything around me
of course i pushed people away
i wanted to know who i was
i thought maybe that was the process
people went through


but its not even close


and deep down i think few do know who i am


it feels like i have something to prove
but the saying goes that you have nothing to prove
im not so sure about that

well

words are just words

written in blank space
they dont do anything

how much meaning can it have
especially if its unread
but atleast written

its easy to be unhappy
when youve destroyed everything around you
and
its hard to be happy
when youre stuck with that mess
and have to clean up
but its the only way

if you know whats worth anything
you would try


as said before
out of sight, out of mind


but im not going to let that win

exaggeration, and hurt from directions unseen, coupled with lonely thoughts... i can see how giant monsters can become when left unattended. so monstrous you want to give up. you feel powerless.

but
dont roll all of your problems into one until its impossible.




sometimes i wish it was just a poison i could throw up