headspace

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its not about what happened

the other day I fell out of the fucked up tree, and i hit every branch on the way down. i had two friends at the bottom catch me. i dont know what kind of abyss they saved me from.

and later that day, i saw the fire inside them. i hadnt seen that side of one before, and i was speechless. shocked. i really think i saw what true friends were capable of...


all it really took was a few words and being there. thats all i wanted or needed. just make sure i dont kill myself or make bad decisions. and i got more than that. i really laid myself out like a sacrifice. i poured out everything, and it wouldn't stop coming. that wouldve been the time to stomp my head on the curb if someone wanted me dead. i needed that hug more than she knows. i wanted a group hug hours earlier but was too afraid to ask. i never thought id think those thoughts before. it was all there.

the full story is in the mind of those who were there. the pain, the reality, and the intensity were all there. it cant be recreated. it cant be played out or explained for anyone. i do a bad job at trying because things will never be the same.
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